Not the get rich quick scheme mind you, the parasite. Thank you Portland Water Bureau! Your years of defying Clean Water Act mandates and federal orders to clean the shit out of our water supply, you fucking corrupt turds continue to Stand and And Deliver! Portland's are some of the highest water rates in the country and what you provide to rate payers is cryptosporidium and swank cushy offices for yourselves. No doupt there are a multitude of other perks we rate payers know nothing about. Like perhaps the regular Crystal Springs deliveries to your homes. It's Portland at it finest, again. Well, maybe it is a get rich quick scheme after all.

Tired of hearing it: "Appreciate you." "Appreciate you." "Appreciate you."; over and over and over. Fuck off. What? We were strangers 50 seconds ago, and now your hackneyed virtue signal has brought us together as you? Fuck off. Next time you throw your signal, listen closely to the silence and know that what you're just not hearing, over and over and over, is Fuck off. Go back to saying "Thank you" and I'll go back to saying "You're welcome" instead of Fuck off.

How poodle mixes became such a popular dog breed befuddles me. These curly haired menaces are terrifying looking with their human eyes and springy bodies. Like a deranged muppet that came to life! But what really gets me is their owners' casual use of doggy eugenics. Oh, you want a dog that sheds less, has a brain the size of a peanut, with questionable health issues and unethical breeding practices. Cool cool. And how much do people pay for these Frankenstein designer dogs? Thousands of dollars you say? Well, it’s not like there are countless dogs in shelters who need homes… Go Doodle yourself.

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Dear I, Anonymous: Please stop reselling every piece of junk furniture as mid-century modern! Sure, maybe that end table/chair/cabinet you found at the Goodwill/grammas attic/dumpster could have been made sometime between 1940-1970, but that doesn’t actually make it mid-century modern. Besides, plenty of the crap you are trying to sell on FB is clearly just mid-2000 Target.

Just keep walking. Not ceding anymore ground to bullshit security theater for the owner class.

Why do I have to price check so many items at Freddy’s lately? Several times this summer, items have rung up differently than their listed price in the aisle. With these constant price-scanning errors—and the armed guards… and the rampant wage theft… and the union busting… and that time they threw away shit ton of perfectly good food during a city-wide, winter power outage and sicked the cops on folks trying to salvage and redistribute the food to the needy—it’s almost as if Fred Meyer is begging consumers to shop somewhere else.

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Hear those crows at 5am? That’s because I’m putting chunks of stale bread and bird feed on top of your SUV at 4am! You want to park in front of my house every fuckin day? Go ahead and enjoy the shit and claw marks. Bro, you and your family have like 6 cars for 2 drivers. Get rid of them or park them elsewhere you assholes! Next up I’ll slide cardboard underneath and sprinkle some sockets so it looks like someone is taking apart your douchemobile. Move it or enjoy my wrath fucker.

To the driver of the contractor van who intentionally rammed my assistant's front bumper at a stoplight: you were at fault, having driven halfway through the intersection on a red light. It wasn't her responsibility or that of the cars behind her to back up for you even if they could. My assistant is quick-thinking but your little tantrum could have had far worse results if the driver behind you had been, say, elderly and more vulnerable. So - I've followed through on this. Intimidation is cowardly, especially if the intimidator is encased in a large vehicle. And not terribly smart when a company name & number are emblazoned on the back.

So now the truth comes out about the Portland Police Traffic Division not giving a shit about public safety. Okay, time for hardball: Require the PPB union to carry liability insurance for any traffic incidents that resulted in the deaths of pedestrians or drivers due to reckless driving where they should have intervened. Let the out of control police union eat the cost of lawsuits as a result of them refusing to do their jobs. Stop punishing the tax payers for your temper tantrums. Actually, really man up and carry enough insurance to cover all the egregious acts of brutality, racism and outright incompetence that the PPB forces onto Portland tax payers. Then maybe you wouldn't be hated so much.

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All you lazy ass excuses for life, if you need help at the self checkout grocery, how about you go walk 5 ft to get the cashiers attention? Too much work? Too far walk? Its not your job? When you stand there waiting like some entitled consumer like the rest of your idiot friends, you look like an idiot who cannot use their words or feet to go get some service. And dont look at me with evil eyes because I took the initiative to walk to get her attention because I got places to go and no time to waste just standing there like a dumbass idiot. You know, its a metaphor for life, those who wait for opportunity to happen to them like the silver spoiled spoon you are used to versus going out and making things happen for you. And yo, other dude who is some sort of justice first come first serve police when you wanna point to the cashier that he was first, here's one word for you. Fuckoff. Heres 2 words for you too, please fuckoff. Then you police justice idiot wants to start chatting to the cashier because that's all you do everyday, you fucking loser. Think about it, stupid.

Marlene Barbera has been identified in other media as writing into anti-trans media groups complaining that she was released by her OHSU general practitioner. It is reported that she berated staff over the phone and compared a trans flag to a Nazi Flag. Thanks to this person the Richmond Clinic has received bomb threats. Stop the hate.

u r a douche, w ur stupid pink hat (that is only stupid because it’s on ur head) holding up the line, swearing at the young and respectful walgreens employee, because u want something done re: an $8 iphone charger with no receipt. u, with ur “i was just hEre” whining, strutting that classic rude white dude entitlement, cursing and saying “i’m not leaving until bla bla bla!” gross. we all saw u, u scamming. loser. scrub. u r a douche and i hope karma comes for u.

Hi skaters! As long as you keep disrupting my day, sleep, or my partner, I will continue to aggressively follow the law. Especially if you continue to trespass, leave trash, and call me names when I try to talk with you about leaving, cleaning up after yourself, and being quiet. I know aggressive law followers aren’t cool, but you’re dumb and I don’t care. Sincerely, I never thought I’d be the crotchety old man calling out skaters. You fucks.

There's always a type gotta be right. Not only be right, but wanna boast it further with, "you're wrong." You can be right all the time around me. You win. But I'm positive I can provide you evidence, or opinions to discredit all your theories of how you desire so strongly for me to be wrong. Science and faith both exist to find truths. They should not ignore each other. Why must you need attention? The louder you are, I hear less. The bigger your gestures, I look the other way. That's all you people are, are whores for attention, but you're not a performer, artist, musician, entertainer, or anything remotely amusing. I really really don't care about your conversation. I always have headphones so you are really talking to deaf ears. When you wanna do weird shit, or dance on a bus ride, as a drunk, it's amusing to you, but I stopped noticing the minute you thought you could be entertaining and everyone was paying attention to you. Just try having a point and purpose. Or skill if you're trying to be the center of attention. Or even mildly attractive. Who the fuck brings expired bagels to the community food sharing lunch room? Yea, yea, hard times, yea yea, food is good at least however many days past a "best by date!" Are you trying to get people sick with your so called generosity? And how about this? That is the only thing you've ever brought as your contribution, but why not spend 5 bucks more on some unexpired bagels you thrifty cheap ass?

People have not cared about anyone but themselves for decades and that's fine I get it. But now since the world is shit and society is on the brink of crumbling into a dumpster fire of chaos, now all those who didn't care have stepped up their not caring to absurd levels. And it's from top to bottom. From last baby to be born to the oldest person living, they don't give 2 fucks what happens to you or me. The leaders don't care which makes the people below them not care and so on, all the way down the line. Which includes government on every level, the police, the stores we shop at, the people in traffic, everyone. You included. Corporations, small businesses, the corner lemonade stand run by 3rd graders, they don't give a fuck. Everyone. So what now? What do we do? You can't make someone care. You can't make them see why they should. Its a terminal disease that has no cure. I myself cannot wait to taste the sweet relief of death. The sooner the better. ☠️😁 We are all fucked.